hesitation?

i had a hesitant conjuncture , which made me felling guilty :(
i didnt knw whether if should i retake english . cos it wasn't a great grade.BUT, if i were to retake i'm afraid that i may not cope .. cos i wanted to have a desired GPA when im in semester 1. i''ve guessed i did mentioned out my targeted GPA in the previous few posts. ya so u see , im a slow learner so to achieve high grades i need more time . :( so i go with my stand. furthermore i didnt have the confidence if u could score well . its $160.05 ! . i dont want to waste my parents'' money :(
but after all the thoughts. its 1am i've thought bout it. ya, its over. but i somehow felt , did i make a wrong decision? cos my mum urged me to retake . but i didnt have the confidence . :(
i wish i could go back to the past. but sadly, life still moves on. ....